The Church of Pixels Declares The Sacred Phemonym Is God

The Church of Pixels has made its choice. A new icon is born. It is... The Sacred Phemonym.

Disillusioned with a lack of female identity for God, the Church of Pixels decided it would go in search of way to include a more whole and realistic notion for the Great One. Following a trek to Pixelindia, a tiny creature was discovered living in the slums of Calcutta, helping orphans and lepers without any care for its own safety whatsoever.

Such an inspiration this creature was! The Church immediately began the process of incorporating its likeness into theological imagery, desperate as they were to find a female identity for God.

The kids loved it, the creatures didn't object, the feminists were jumping in the streets, the naysayers did not say nay. Indeed, this was the beginning of a fresh and balanced approach to relating to God.

Cyclops + Alien + Bunny + Robot + Angry Baby

I have a friend named Jimmy who is a mad scientist. He lives in a giant castle in Pixelvania, surrounded by snow-capped mountains, fog and perpetual twilight.

When I arrived Jimmy took me up to see his latest creation. He openly admitted that the latest was a pure accident, the result of a freak power surge, and that he wasn't sure what to make of it. So we brainstormed some ideas and decided it had the characteristics of:

• A cyclops
• An alien
• A bunny
• A robot
• And an angry baby

Accordingly we named it CABRA, and are in the process of training it to make french toast.

Loungus Lizardus

Adventurer of places seedy and iniquitous; fine demonstrator of bumbling inadequacy; wearer of dorky leisure suits. Yes, he is Larry Laffer - better known to many as Leisure Suit Larry.

He is, of course, the star of a series of computer games that date back to the ultra lo-res and wondrous period of 1987.

Late one night I was having a drink down at the local disco, and I happened to bump into him. Quite literally, in fact, since his awful dancing ability sent him careening off the disco floor and practically into my lap.

I couldn't believe my luck to run into such a celebrity, and promptly urinated myself with shock. Well it was just a little bit.

Despite this I was glad to have finally met Leisure Suit Larry, the pixel hero of all good lo-res adult PC entertainment. I have categorised him in his own species, Loungus Lizardus.